Sunday, December 9, 2012

344/366 - still trying to kill casey

Maybe I can pull it off before I hit 366! Wouldn't that be amazing! I'll give it the old (I didn't go to) college try.

I figured out what day I was on using this website.

What Do You Mean "Kill" Casey?

Allow me to explain as my mind wasn't in the right place to explain it before. I essentially want to rid myself of the Casey identity. This isn't because I don't like Casey. Casey is/was an awesome dude! I just want to create a persona that's 100% mine.

For example, there is no association with:

Driving that train, high on cocaine,
Mil Town Jones YOU BETTER, watch your speed.
Trouble ahead, trouble behind,
And you know that notion just crossed my mind.

Mil Town and the sunshine band

Mil Town at bat

Or hundreds of other Mil Town Kid's out there

Although there is one Casey I'm super fond of:


Casey Tries Too Hard

Another problem I have with Casey is that he tries too hard to live in the "real world." The world of having a proper job and having all the things normal people have. miltownkid doesn't give a fuck about any of that stuff. miltownkid relentlessly pursues his dreams and the shit he's passionate about 100% of the time. Casey is the guy who takes miltownkid away from his passions. Casey has lost the fight completely. Just one more thing to do...

Legal Name Change

I'm going to legally change my name to miltownkid. Once that happens there is no balancing two identities (a professional and personal one). I'm going to see if I can pull that off in the 22 days I have left. Once that happens Casey will be an alias for miltownkid used for people who can't handle calling me miltownkid. :)

10 comments:

  1. Interresting. I kind of get it but let me tell you something, who or what tells you that you can't have both. Superman aka Kal-El took over the persona of Clark Kent to hide is identiy and now you are trying to do the same thing in reverse.

    I kind of did the same thing. I've been Dome the Poet, Dome Spicy, Dome Attic, "Jabba" Dome and now I am Dome Woo. It's the persona I feel comfortable in because it is the closest thing to the true me I have ever gotten. People either call me Dome or Woo, I am fine either way, but my original identtiy Dominik Speicher is still there, because it is the foundation - I am just in my 5th regeneration/reincarnation cycle, and I know I am not done cooking just yet, I'm still changing.

    Running away from your foundation is not going to solve your troubles - been there, done that!
    At the end of the day, the demon is just part of us and we have to feed it until its gone. You need to confront your inner demons, give them a name and have a conversation with them. I did that through meditation. Sat down on a cushion and imagined how my demon would look like. How it would speak, the tone of its voice and its attitude. I imagined it sitting right in front of me and asked it questions, asked for its reason why its still here, what it needs and why it does need it. Once it felt invited and not unwelcome, it kind of lost its power over me. It is the fear of our demons that gives them strength and running away from them, gives them even more power and makes them follow us where ever we go.

    I hope this makes sense to you.

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    1. Makes total sense. 3 things.

      1: I'm not running from Casey, I'm fully embracing him. I just don't want to manage two identities on or offline.

      2. I think super heroes like superman and spider man keep a normal identity for balance. Their powers are so extreme that living a normal life breaks up the mundane (their version of it anyway).

      3. Think rappers more than heroes. I want be a 50 cent or Jay-Z. What I mean by that is I want to create a universe for myself that I'm always living in.

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  2. I have to congratulate you on the dumbest fucking idea you ever had. I want to say more but I think I just said everything.

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    1. I want to say I know I'm on the right track if Sinclizza thinks it's terrible. But I also want you to say more! :D

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  3. Replies
    1. lol! Everyone's against me! That's how I know I'm right. ;)

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    2. Well mainly the part of like, if you were doing it to "avoid" yourself or something it was meh but I mean...I don't think that's what it's about.

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    3. I think I'll end up with a more elegant and simplified life. I do know I'll run into problems I didn't think of (for example I'm not going to try doing just one name, there will be a last name for this like everything online requires one.)

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  4. This has nothing to do with being against you and it is not the best method to figure out, if you are right or not!
    If I'd still do that, I would be living like a hobo on the street.

    Having dreams is awesome, but you've got to be realistic about them.

    Your superhero analogy sucks btw: Superman is an alien who has to assume the identy of a human. Spiderman is human (who gets his powers through a bite) and has to assume the identy of Spider-Man in order to protect his loved ones. A subtle but important difference.

    As to wanting to just be one person and having just one identity: Just be it!
    Being who you are isn't work at all and should be effortless.

    As to the rapper thing: What?!?! So alternate reality is your way out? That is kind of a copout to not have to face reality, ergo, you are running away from it and away from Casey!

    Again, this is not against you, I am just pointing out the flaws in your reasoning.


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    1. Yeah, but superman could... just be an alien. The spiderman one makes more sense as he started out human and doesn't want the baddies to get to his friends/family. That said, if he were so inclined, he could totally become spider man if he so chose.

      I'd like to point out that I am just "being," everyone is all the time. What I mean by that is a person is always being oneself (even when they're trying to be something they're not). What I'm doing isn't work and is effortless (to me).

      And everyone lives in an "alternate reality." I'm not making a way out, I'm just redesigning my reality. Totally not running from Casey, it's just the next logical evolution for me (the one after this is to completely drop using a name of any kind... that's a different story for a different decade though).

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